Jokes

College mein ek badi umra ki ladki ko sab students bua bua kehte the
Ek din usne principal se shikayat kar di

Principal gusse mein class room mein pahunche aur class se kaha jo bhi is ladki ko bua kehta hai woh khada ho jaaye.

Ek ek karke saari class khadi ho gayi lekin ak ladka baitha raha

Principal ne poochha "To tum ise bua nahi kehte ho"

Ladke ne ek thandi saans li aur kaha "Main saari class ka foofa hoon."

Musafir: Beta aap mujhe thoda paani pila denge.
Bachcha: Agar lassi ho jaaye to..
Musafir: Tab to bahut hi achcha hoga
Bachcha lassi le aaya. Musafir ne 5 lote lassi peene ke baad bachche se poochha
"Beta tumhare ghar mein koi lassi nahi peeta"
Bachcha: Peet to sab hain lekin aaj lassi mein chooha gir gaya tha aur ussi mein mar gaya.
Musafir ne gusse mein lota zameen par de mara.
Bachcha rote huye bola "Mummy inhone lota tod diya, ab toilet kya lekar jaayenge"

Ek baar ek jinn ek aadmi ke bhesh mein beer peene bar pahunch gaya
Usne 12 bottle beer pe daali.
Bartender yeh dekha kar bada hairan hua aur usne poochha
Arre bhai tere ko chadhti nahi hai kya
Is par Jinn bola "Abbe main JINN hoon"
Bartender bola: Yeh lo chadh gayi.

Husband : What would you do if I won the lottery?
Wife: I would take all money and leave you
Husband: Good I won $12, take it and get lost.

"8 secrets of success" U can find in your room.

1.ROOF says - Aim high
2.FAN says - Be cool
3.CLOCK says - Every minute is precious
4.MIRROR says - Reflect before u act
5.CALENDER says - Be up to date
7.DOOR says - Don't miss the opportunity
8.BED says - SAB BAKWAS HAI, Mast chadar odho aur so jao.

Modern Love:

Ek ladka blood bank mein: Sister mujhe ek botal khoon de do.
Sister: Blood group batao.
Ladka: Koi bhi chalega.
Sister: Kaise.
Ladka: Mujhe love letter likhna hai.

Q : Arrange marriage mein talaak kam kyon hote hain?
A : Jo apni marzi se shaadi nahi kar sakta woh saala talaak kya khaak lega.

Gabbar: Aaj maine basanti ko nahaate waqt dekha.

Veeru: Kutte kameene main tera khoone pee jaaunga

Gabbar: Relax bewde... Main naha raha tha aur basanti jaa rahi thi... Jab dekho khoon pee jaaunga..