Funny Jokes

By and large year 2015 passed peacefully, but three questions left unanswered.
1. Why Katappa killed Bahubali?
2. Who was driving Salman's car?
3. How many husbands did Indrani Mukherjee have?


Finally the answer...

The missing husband of Indrani was driving Salman's car and told Katappa to kill Bahubali because Bahubali saw the accident.

I had a sparrow as pet but it flew away one day...
Then I had a squirrel but it ran away too..
Then I planted a tree and they both came back...

- Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam


One day I got chips and gave it to my friends they took and ran away...
Then I got mixture and gave it to my friends they took and ran away...
Then one day I got alcohol they all came back with chips and mixture.

- Vijay Mallya

College mein ek badi umra ki ladki ko sab students bua bua kehte the
Ek din usne principal se shikayat kar di

Principal gusse mein class room mein pahunche aur class se kaha jo bhi is ladki ko bua kehta hai woh khada ho jaaye.

Ek ek karke saari class khadi ho gayi lekin ak ladka baitha raha

Principal ne poochha "To tum ise bua nahi kehte ho"

Ladke ne ek thandi saans li aur kaha "Main saari class ka foofa hoon."

At Niagara Falls

Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. There are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls.

Real truth about proposal:

Boys always start love with this sentence "We are friends"

AND

Girls always end love with this sentence "We are just friends"

Feel the difference

Two Wives chatting in office :

Wife 1 : I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins.

How was yours?

Wife 1 : Oh mine was amazing!

My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour.

When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work

Husband 1 : How was your evening?

Husband 2 : Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep.

And what about you?

Husband 1 : It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill. So I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab or auto.

We walked home which took an hour & when we got home, I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house .

MORAL : PRESENTATION DOES MATTER......
NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS

Headlines of 2050:

1. Rajnikant in DHOOM 22

2. Golmaal-15 ready 4 release.

3. I will play the next world cup-Sachin.

4. Shahid, Saif attended Kareena's 8th wedding.

5. Petrol-984 rs/litre.

6. Shahrukh khan's daughter becomes a heroine with Amitabh Bachhan in a luv story titled: Cheeni Khatam

7. CID completd 10,00,000 episodes.

8. Nokia launches new phone..wid facilities lyk..20 sim card,500 gb in built memory, camera,music player,TV,fridge & washing machine in phone.

9.Ram gopal varma's phoonk-23 again failed at box office.

10. India beat brazil in fifa world cup.

Dad : Son you have to get married I have seen a girl for u

Son:Not possible

Dad : Think twice she is Bill Gates daughter

Son: I m ready.

Dad goes to Bill Gates

Dad : My son wants to marry ur daughter

Bill Gates : Not possible

Dad : Think twice he is the CEO of Swiss Bank

Bill Gates : I m ready

Dad goes to Swiss Bank Authorities

Dad : Make my son the CEO of ur Bank

Authorities : Not possible

Dad : Think twice he is Bill Gates Son in Law

Authorities : Ur Sons job is confirmed