Blonde Jokes

A blonde was attending a class of parachute juming. the instructor told them to start preparing for landing at 300 feet.
Blonde : How I'd I get to know that I'm at 300 feet.
Instructor : When you start recognising people.
Blonde :�What if I don't recognise anyone there?

Q: How does a blonde try to kill a worm?
A: Bury it alive!

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think..." and it sucked her in.

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right at the fifty yard line. It was an exciting game too, a real nail biter. You simply couldn't have asked for a better game to take someone to for their first time.
After the game, he asked her if she had a good time.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tightpants and all the big muscles, but... I just couldn't understand why they were all killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
She went looking for the three guys.

Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?
She thought her maxi pad had wings.

A blonde and a brunette were having lunch one day. The brunette seemed to be�preoccupied with�something.�Trying to be�a good friend, the blonde asked her what was on her mind.
The brunette�replied,
"My boyfriend just got me a dozen roses for my Birthday!"
The blonde�then said,
"Oh that's good!"
"Well, not really,"�mused her brunette�friend,�"They always come with an obligation... I'll have my legs in the air for three days now!"
Puzzled, the blonde�asks,
"Oh my, that is awful... don't you have a vase?"

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the
effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it � why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.'