Jokes

Patni (pati ke birthday par): "Kya gift doon?"

Pati: "Gift rehne de bas thodi izzat diya kar aur tameez se baat kar liya kar"

Patni (5 minute soch kar): "Nahi main to gift hi doongi?"

Daaru peene se pehle jo glass me ungli dubo kar do boond neeche giraayi jaati hai...
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...
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usse sharabiyon ke granth me sanskar kaha gaya hai.

If ever u feel overloaded by life, wife or work ....
Immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center & place order for any 1 or more of the following Antidotes:

1. Wife Irritation Neutralizing Extract (WINE)
2. Refreshing Unique Medicine (RUM)
3. Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER)
4. Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA)
5. Wife High Infusing Suspicion Killing Energy Yeast (WHISKEY)

This is issued in public interest by Buddies for Eradication of Work Disease Association (BEWDA)

Manager told a joke. Everyone in the team laughed except one guy...

Manager asks him - "Didn't you understand my joke????"

The guy replied - "I resigned yesterday"

Neta ji gaanv mein sabha karne ja rahe the lekin gaanv se pehle hi unki car ke neeche ek kutta aa gaya.

Kutta mar gaya lekin car bhi accident ki wajah se kharab ho gayi

Neta ji ne driver ko madad laane ke liye gaanv mein bheja.

Thodi der baad jab driver lauta to uske gale mein dher saari malayein padi thi.

Neta ji ne poochha ki toone aisa kya kiya jo tera itna samman hua?

Maine to sirf itna kaha ki neta ji ki car ka accident ho gaua hai.....
Kutta mar gaya....

Khaana khaate huye pati ne patni ko aawaz lagaai

"Bhagyawan..! yeh jo tumne sabji banaai hai ise kya kehte hain"

Patni : "Kyun, kisliye poochh rahe ho?"

Pati : "Arre bhai mujhse bho to swarg mein poochha jayega.. Kya kha ke mare the?"

Patni ki raat ko achanak 2 baje neend khuli to paaya ki pati bed par nahi hai

Khojne par pati dining table par baithe huye dikha
Pati hath mein coffee ka cup lekar soch mein doobe huye deewar ko ghoor rahe the.

Patni chupchap pati ko coffee ki chuski lete huye baar baar aansu ponchhte dekhti rahi.
Phir patni pati ke paas gayi aur boli "Kya baat hai dear? tum itni raat mein yahan kya kar rahe ho?"

Pati ne nazar uthaai aur kaha "Tumhein yaad hai 14 saal pehle jab tum sirg 18 saal ki thi?"
Patni bhaav vibhor ho gayi aur boli "Haan yaad hai"

Kuchh ruk kar pati bola "Yaad hai jab tumhare judge pitaji ne hamein meri car mein ghoomte huye dekh liya tha"

Patni "Haan haan yaad hai"\

Pati "Yaad hai tab unhone mujhe dhamkaya tha aur kaha tha is-se shaadi kar lo nahi to tumhein 14 saal ke liye andar kara doonga"

Patni "Haan haan woh bhio yaad hai"

Pati apni aankh se aansu pochhte huye bola "Aaj main jail se chhoot gaya hota"

3 dost daaru peete rahe the..

Boy 1 - Bhai hum log bullet se Laddakh chalenge.

Boy 2 - Haan bhai chalenge.

Boy 3 - Lekin kaise chalenge apne paas to cycle bhi nahi hai?

Boy 1& 2 - Saale hamein pata tha tu
Daaru nahi pee raha hai khaali namkeen kha raha hai.