Jokes

Employee: Sir meri biwi 5-6 dinon ke liye kahin ghoomne jaana chahati hai. Chhutti chahiye.

Boss: Nahi milegi.

Employee: Thank you sir! Main jaanta tha museebat mein bas aap hi mere kaam aayenge.

Pati: Aaj sabzi mein namak thoda sa zyada ho gaya hai.
Patni: Namak theek hai, sabji kam pad gayi. Bola tha na zyada laaya karo.

Point - Wife is always right!
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Pati: Aaloo ke parathon mein aloo to nazar nahi aa raha hai.
Patni: Chup chap khaa lo..!! Kashmiri pulaav mein kya Kashmir nazar aata hai?

Point - Bola tha na, wife is always right!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pati: Teen din se lagaatar lauki khaa raha hoon, ab ek mahina nahi khaunga.
Patni: Yehi baat paan masale ke liye kyun nahi bolte?

Point - Accept it, wife is always right!

What is checkmate?

You tell your wife "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you"

and wife asked "Was she hot..??"

You can't "NO"
You can't say "YES"

This is checkmate...
Agreed or not...

By and large year 2015 passed peacefully, but three questions left unanswered.
1. Why Katappa killed Bahubali?
2. Who was driving Salman's car?
3. How many husbands did Indrani Mukherjee have?


Finally the answer...

The missing husband of Indrani was driving Salman's car and told Katappa to kill Bahubali because Bahubali saw the accident.

I had a sparrow as pet but it flew away one day...
Then I had a squirrel but it ran away too..
Then I planted a tree and they both came back...

- Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam


One day I got chips and gave it to my friends they took and ran away...
Then I got mixture and gave it to my friends they took and ran away...
Then one day I got alcohol they all came back with chips and mixture.

- Vijay Mallya

Divorce ke case mein court ne order diya ki pati ko aadhi salary patni ko deni hogi.

Pati (Khushi se naachte huye) : Saala ab se aadhi salary to mere paas rahegi.

Ise kehte hain bhasha ka fark

Agar aap patni ko kahein ki
"Aaj tum hatyarin lag rahi ho" to do dinon tak khana nahi milega

Lekin agar kahein ki
"Aaj tum kaatil lag rahi ho" to shaam ki chaaye bhi pakodon ke sath milegi

Santa: Yaar teri biwi mar gayi to toone saali se shaadi kyon kar li, kisi aur se kyon nahi.

Banta: Yaar ab nayi saas ko jhelne ki himmat mujhmein nahi hai.