Q : Arrange marriage mein talaak kam kyon hote hain?
A : Jo apni marzi se shaadi nahi kar sakta woh saala talaak kya khaak lega.
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Arrested for laughing
This is from an actual trial in the UK.
A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.
She filed a court case on him. In the court the man said to judge in his defense was:
When the lady boarded the bus, I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon- The unknown boon"..
I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement,
Which read:- "William's stick did the trick".. Then I could not control myself any longer,
When on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident"..
The case was dismissed.
The judge fell off his chair laughing!
National Institute of Health is starting to use lawyers instead of white rats in experiments for three reasons:
1. There are so many of them.
2. You don't get nearly as attached.
3. There are somethings that rats wont do.
ATTORNEY:� Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a�pulse?
WITNESS:��No.
ATTORNEY:� Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:��No.
ATTORNEY:� Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:��No.
ATTORNEY:� So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you�began the autopsy?
WITNESS:��No.
ATTORNEY:� How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:��Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:� I see, but could the patient have still been alive,�nevertheless?
WITNESS:��Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and�practicing law.
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!