Sports Jokes

Bachpan Ke Cricket Rules

1. 8 eenton (bricks) ki wicket hogi.

2. First ball try hogi.

3. Battin team umpiring karegi.

4. Baal deewar ko direct lagi to six aur direct baahar gayi to out.

5. Last batsman akela batting kar sakta hai.

6. Jo beech mein game chhodega usse kal nahi khilayenge.

7. Jo ball baahar phenkega woh khud lekar aayega aur nahi mili to khareedkar layega.

8. Chhote bachche sirf fielding karenge, unhein last mein batting denge.

9. Jab andhera ho jaayega to slow ball karaai jaayegi.

10. Deewar ko lag kar catch hua to not out hoga.

11. 3 ball lagaatar wide to over cancel.

12. Jo jeetega woh agli baar batting karega.

13. Jiska bat hoga wohi opening karega.

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.

The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...

He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams:
I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!

The second archer with a cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts robin hood's arrow into two!
He takes off his cape and screams:
I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!
The crowd cheers!!

Finally, a third man in cape lines up in position...

He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!!
It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!
Then the man takes off his cape and screams:
I AM...... SORRY!!!

The Fifa World Cup is close by.
Let me give u a few rules that will preserve your beauty.

1. The remote control belongs to me for the whole month.

2. Tell all your friends not to gv birth or wed or die or wateva during the World Cup coz we won't go.

3.No talking during the game, wait for half-time or end of the game.

4. Repeats & highlights are as good as the main match, so am gonna watch them..

5. We can watch STAR PLUS provided actors and actresses are wearing soccer jerseys and they are in brazil.

6. U dont just pass infront of the tv if am watching soccer, u better crawl on the floor.

7. Make sure you don't ask silly questions such as; is this Chelsea versus England?

8. No funny faces to my friends when they come for soccer.

9. There shall be no comments about Cristiano Ronaldo's looks. Proffessonalism shall remain an absolute part of the WC.

10. If you miss the line up please dont ask, 'who is that guy?'

11. Ronaldo the Brazilian and Ronaldo the Portuguese are not related, Tanzania and Kenya did not qualify.

Thank you,

Judge: Do you want to stay with your mom?
Child: No. She beats me.
Judge: Then do you want to stay with your dad?
Child: No. He beats me too.
Judge: Do you want to stay with your grandparents?
Child: No, they also beat me.
Judge: Ok. So do you want to stay with your uncle?
Child: No. They beat me too
Judge: Ok. So tell me who you want to stay with?
Child: I want to stay with Mumbai Indians.
They dont beat anybody

Seems like the British divided India in such a way that all the Batsmen were left in India, while all the Bowlers went on the Pakistan's side.

What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

Cricketers mindset:-

Ganguly: do or die.

Sehwag: do before you die.

Dravid: do until they die.

Tendulkar: do that will never die.

Laxman- Do when everyone else die.

Yuvraj - Do, die, reborn, do, die, reborn (repeat)....

Finally ...

Dhoni - Do everything before luck die.

Q- Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a Pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of Pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
Why ?? Why ?? :-
Ans. Tendulkar is an opener.