Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN not allowed.
We serve the needy, not the greedy...
Sexy Jokes are also known as Sexy Dirty Jokes or Adult Jokes or Sex Jokes. The term Sexy Jokes is used to describe various jokes, prose, poems, black comedy and skits that deal with topics that are considered to be sexy taste or vulgar. It is concerned with sex, a particular ethnic group, or gender. Other Sexy Jokes includes violence, particularly domestic abuse, excessive swearing or profanity. Adult Jokes are not suitabe to be viewed or listen by any unmatured person.
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Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Doctor to lady: Kya aap delivery k waqt bachche k baap ko apne pass dekhna chahati hain?
Lady: Nahi un ko mere husband pasand nahi karte.
Father: Qutub minar kahan hai?
Son: Pata nahi.
Father: Kabhi ghar se bhi bahar nikla karo.
Son: Suresh uncle kaun hain?
Father: Pata nahi.
Son: Kabhi ghar pe bhi ruka karo.
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
DAUGHTER: Mom, that man gave me $10 to climb that tree.
MOTHER: Stupid! he wanted to see your panty!
DAUGHTER: Ahah! I'm clever, I did not wear any of them!
This couple had 4 sons. The first 3 were tall, fair, redheads with blue eyes and the last one was dark, with curly hair, and short. When the man was on his deathbed, he whispered to his wife- baby, are you sure that you never cheated on me? Our last son is giving me doubts.
Wife swears that he is his son. Husband dies.
Soon after that.
Wife- Thank goodness he didn't ask about the first three sons.
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired.
When her friends asked her what happened?
She replied : When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot from last 50 years, "I thought It was MONEY"