Sexy Jokes

Once Tarzan goes to a chemist shop and asks for a condom. The shopkeeper gives him small size condoms and asks him to come the next day and tell him how well it worked.

So Tarzan returns the next day and says: "Tarzan goes huh, Jane goes huh and condom goes rip."

This time the shopkeeper gives him medium size condoms. Tarzan returns the next day and says: "Tarzan goes huh, Jane goes huh and condom goes rip." Now, the shopkeeper gives him large size ones.

But the next day too Tarzan's reply is the same. So this time the shopkeeper gives him a trashcan and asks him to come back the next day.

So, the next day Tarzan comes and excitedly says: "Tarzan goes huh, can goes huh and Jane goes a rip."

A customs agent stopped an old Jewish man who had just immigrated to Israel and asked him to open his two suitcases.

In the first suitcase he found over a million dollars in one dollar bills.

"Excuse me, sir" he asked the old gentleman, "where did you get all this money?"

"Vell, I'll tell you," the old man began, "for many years, I traveled all around America, I stopped at all of the public rest rooms in all the major cities; I
vent to New York, then I vent to Chicago, then I vent to San Francisco. I vent into all the stalls here the men were spiriting and I say 'Give me a dollar for Israel or I'll cut off your testicles vit my knife.'"

"That's quite a story," the customs agent said, "what's in the second suitcase?"

"Vell, you know," said the old man, shaking his head, "not everyone likes to give..."