Adult Hindi Jokes

A gay guy falls in love with a proctologist. He goes to the proctologist's office and says that he has an obstruction.
So the proctologist sticks his hand up the guy's ass but can't find anything. However, he notices that the man has an erection, so the proctologist cuts short the examination and orders the gay guy out of his office.
The next day, the gay guy calls the proctologist and claims he has another obstruction. The proctologist doesn't believe him but the guy claims he is in great pain, so the doctor relents. When the guy arrives, the doctor sticks his hand up the guy's ass again but this time he finds something. "Good God!" the doctor exclaims, "No wonder you're in pain. There are two dozen roses shoved up your ass."
The gay guy turns around excitedly and says, "Read the card! Read the Card!"

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night.
She looked at her husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She said, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."
"Well, what was it?" she asked.
He responded, "As I remember, I said, "Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big boobs and screw your brains out."
She giggled and said, "Yes honey, thats exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"
Again he looked up at her, and he replied, "Mission accomplished."

Husband : Main ye roz roz ke condom lagane ki jhanjhat se pareshan ho gaya hoon.
Wife : To phir tum lamination kyun nahi karwa lete!

Sunny: Papa, aaj se school mein ek period Sex Education ka bhi shuru ho gaya hai.
Papa: Good! Lekin tum Lulli kyon hila rahe ho?
Sunny: Madam ne homework diya hai.

Munni woh din yaad karo
Jab hum tum sath nahate the,
Tum chut pe sabun malti thi ,
Hum land pe jhag udate the.
Munna woh din beet gaye ,
Jab hum tum sath nahate the,
Ab chut chupane ki bari hai,
Munni bharat ki nari hai.

Munni woh din yaad karo
Jab hum tum sath sote the,
Tum chut mein kheti karti thi ,
Hum land pe ganne bote the.
Munna woh din beet gaye ,
Jab chut mein kheti hoti thi,
Ab land ki fusslo ki khatir,
Humne ise banjar bana diya.

Munni woh din yaad karo
Jab luka chipi khelte the,
Tum lahanga pahan kar aati thi,
Aur hum usme chup jate the.
Munna woh din beet gaye,
Jab hamne tumhe chupaya tha,
Ab tum to jaat ke bhalu ho,
Lahange me shahad ka chhatta hai.

Munni woh din yaad karo,
Jab sath deewali khele the,
Tum chut pe tikli rakhti thi ,
Hum land se foda karte the.
Munna woh din beet gaye,
Jab chut pe tikli fodi thi.
Ab chut hamari pyari hai,
Aur loda tera bhikhari hai.

Munni woh din beet gaye
Han munni woh din beet gaye.
Ab chut ke darshan ki khatir ,
Hum chut chalisa padhte hai,
Par chut nahi darshan deti,
Hum land se ladte rahte hai.
Par waqt hamara aayega.
Jab hum bhi tum ko chodenge,
Tum land land chillaogi
Hum chut me danda pelenge.
Munni munne ko kam na samajh
Yeh teri phudi chodega..
Tu pair pakad kar royegi..
Teri chut me keeel (nails) thokega

Principal said "If any boy go 2 da gurlz hostel rs. 100 fine for 1st time, 200 rs. for 2nd time, 500 for 3rd time.."
Munna Bhai Bola "Monthly Pass ka kitna lagega mamu"

Lady: Doc. I got brown discharge at my vagina .... is it infection?
Doc: How often do u hve sex?
Lady: Once a month.
Doc: Yeh infection nahi, zang lag gaya hai!!!

Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman Bhai..
Ab uskey area mein jo bhi koi lafda hota hai to police se pehle Chaman Bhai ki adalat mein jaata hai....
Ek baar Chaman Bhai ke area mein rape ho jata hai, aur jisney game bajayi hoti hai ukso pakad ke Chaman Bhai ke paas leke jatey hain...
Chaman Bhai pehley to bahut shanti se, style mein, us sey baat karta hai... kuch is tarah se...
Chaman : Kya re? Tere ko maloom nahi yeh apun ka area hai?
Mujrim : Haan maloom hai na bhai.
Chaman : Phir kaise himmat ki rape karne ki apun ke area mein?
Mujrim : Ab kya boloon bhai, kismat kharab thi.
Chaman : Chal mere ko sub kuchh sach sach bata kya aur kaise hua?
Mujrim : Abhi kya na... idhar naake pe apun paan khane ke liye aaya...
Chaman : Phir?
Murjim : Apun khade hoke paan kharela tha... aur utne mein samne wali building pe apun ki nazar gayi...
Chaman : Aage bol
Mujrim : Udhar teesre maale pe ek chikni khadi hui thi
Chaman : Phir kya hua?
Mujrim : Apun ko aisa laga ke usne ishaara kiya aane ke liye..
Chaman : Phir tune kya kiya?
Mujrim : Apun socha ke kuchh kaam hoyenga usko.... to apun builidng ke neeche gaya
Chaman : Phir?
Mujrim : Usne Ishare se apun ko upar bulaaya... apun seedi chadte yehich sochrela tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Chal fatafat aage bol
Mujrim : Apun ne usko jaake bola.... kya kaam hai.. kaiko ishara kiya apun ko?
Chaman : Phir?
Mujrim : Phir kya bhai, apun ko usne ghar ke andar kheech liya
Chaman : (Excited) Phir?
Mujrim : Apun ghar me to chala gaya lekin soch raha tha ki "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Aage bol
Mujrim : Usne apun ka haath pakad liya
Chaman : Achcha... Phir?
Mujrim : Sachchi bolta hai bhai haath pakadte hi apun phir socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Phir kya hua?
Mujrim : Phir kya tha... Usne bola chikne meri pyaas bujha de
Chaman : Phir tu kya bola (Getting Excited)?
Mujrim : Apun kya bolta, usne apna duppata neechey gira diya
Chaman : To phir kya hua?
Mujrim : Apun ke dimag ki dahi ho gaya, kya mamme (boobs) the saali ke...lekin bhai phir bhi apun socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Phir tune kya kiya?
Mujrim : Apun bola ek-do kiss karega aur chala jayega..... zyada boli to body kaam karenga lekin engine nahi kholney ka.... Aakhir, "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : To phir?
Mujrim : Usne apun ko kheech liya.... sacchi bolta hai bhai aisi katil jawaani apun akkhi life me nahi dekha.
Chaman : Haan, woh to hai.... Tu aage bol (Starts to heat up)
Mujrim : Phir kya tha.... apun ne kiss kiya, mamme (boobs) bhi dabaya.... lekin imaan se bolta hai, soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Aage bol?
Mujrim : Phir usne apni kameez utar di
Chaman : Phir?
Mujrim : Phir salwar, lekin apun ke dil me ekich khayal aa raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Aage aage?
Mujrim : Phir blouse aur chaddi saali ne sab utar di
Chaman : Sahi mein?
Mujrim : Phir meri pant kheech li.
Chaman : Achcha?
Mujrim : Meri underwear mein haath dal diya.
Chaman : Oh !!
Mujrim : Chaddi utar di meri, lekin apun phir bhi socha "Chaman Bhai k! a area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : (Getting frustrated).
Mujrim : Phir woh haath phiraane lagi.
Chaman : (Half Boiling)
Mujrim : Phir mooh ghumaane lagi..... phir bhi apun yehi soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman: (About to blast) Aage... aage bol sale....
Mujrim: Chumney Chatney lagi bhaaaaiiii.....lekin bhai kasam se......main yehi soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman: Abbe teri to.... Chaman Bhai Gaya Maa Chudaney..... tu aage bol!
Mujrim : Yehich...... yehich - apun ne bhi yehi socha bhai.....aur game baja dala.!!!