Really Funny

A woman was having sex in an apartment 20 floors high with another man. She then heard her husband coming..
She told her lover to stay like robot and not to move.

Husband: What is this?

Wife: This is a robot I bought to have sex with when you are traveling...

Husband: Okay.. Lets have sex now...

Wife: No sweetheart.. Yesterday I got my period, so I will go and make a cup of coffee for you..

After she left the husband said: Damn I am so horny, I will f*ck this robot...

He tried f*cking. The man started talking in a metallic robotic way..

"System error
Wrong hole
System error
Wrong hole.."

Husband: Damn robot is not working properly.. I am throwing it out of the window..

The lover realized that he was on the 20th floor he said:

"SOFTWARE UPDATED"
"PLEASE TRY AGAIN"

A Pathan being interviewed at U.S. Embasy:

CONSULATE: Your name please?
Pathan: Gul khan.
CONSL: Sex?
Pathan: Ten to twelve times a week.
CONSL: I mean male or female?
Pathan: Both male/female & sometimes Camels too.
CONSUL: You seem Ugly !
Pathan: yes Ugly & Pichhli both sides.
CONSL: Freaky Ass!
Pathan: yes sometimes free ki ass somtimes have to pay.
CONSL: Man are you hostile.
Pathan: Horse style, dog style any style !
Consl: Oh dear.
Pathan: Deer? No deer they run very fast.

Boss hired a sexy secretary, but 10 days later he committed suicide by jumping from his 27th floor office.

Police: "Who was there at that time in the room?"

Secretary: "I was there"

Police: What happened? Why did he commit suicide?

Secretary: He was a good man. One day he bought me a fur coat for 2,00,000.

Then he bought me a diamond necklace for Rs.15,00,000, then he bought me a diamond ring for Rs.5,00,000.

Today he asked me to spend the night with him. I told him I charge just Rs. 500 a night!
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Moral:" Investments are subject to market risk, check the market rate before investing!"