A tragic LUV Story

There was a man who just had been bashed up outside a night club, when he awoke he was in hospital with tubes in his arms and an oxygen mask on. Just then a hot lookin nurse came in and started to check his IV and tubes in his arms. Then he moaned ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK? Pardon said the nurse?ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?. Sorry she said I'm not quilified to check that. Again he says ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?. Feeling sorry for him she says ok I'll check. She picks them up and examines them and his p*nis then covers them up. Nope she says there all ok. He slowly reaches up takes off his oxygen mask and says THAT WAS VERY NICE DEAR BUT ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?

These three guys were stranded in the middle of nowhere when suddely they came across a farm. The Guy who answered the door said "You can either sleep in the hay or with my 18 daughters," so he chooses the hay. The second guy came to the man said he wanted to sleep in the hay as well. But the third guy chose his 18 daughters. In the morning, The fist guy said "oh, my dick feels like straw," the second guy said "oh, my dick fells like straw also,"the third guy asid'" hehe, my dick feels like a golf ball that's been in 18 holes!"

Doctor: Please take your seat sir. what is your problem??
Patient: Hello Doctor please can you give me your certificate?
Doctor: Why?
Patient: I took 2 weeks leave in my office. They asked me to get an "Doctor Certificate".