Wife caught cheating

Wife caught cheating

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight.

While enroute to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.

The husband put a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"

The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches a cold."

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Intelligent House of Prostitution

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a Sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION -10 MILES

He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon he sees another sign that says: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS -HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION -5 MILES

Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST,FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a Nun that is in a long black habit who asks:

"What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in long habit, holding a tin cup.

This nun instructs, "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."

He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.

He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: GO IN PEACE YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.

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Correct Answer either way

A four year old came home from Sunday School one day, His Dad asked him what he'd learned that day.

The boy was quiet for a moment and then said, "Dad, have any of the men in our family had their penises criticized?"

The Mom cracked up and told the son, "Yes, my dear Actually the word is circumcised... but either way, the answer is Yes!

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Red Ring

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem."

The doctor examines the man and sees that the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment and asks him to go home and rub on the problem area.

Just moments after he applied the ointment the things gets cleared up this guy is really impressed how fast it worked and wonders this must be super wonder medicine, so he calls up the doctor and says "It's all cleared up!, But what was that medication you gave me?"

Doctor: "Lipstick remover."

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