Investment Risk

A guy was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy,
He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table,
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking.
I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"

The GUY then responded in a loud voice:
"Rs.5000/- FOR ONE NIGHT!! ISN'T THAT TOO MUCH?"

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her:
"I study law and I know how to screw people."

A King enrolled his donkey in a race
& won.

Local paper read:
'KING's ASS WON'
The king was so upset with this kind
of publicity that he gave the donkey
to the queen.

The local paper then read:
"QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN
TOWN"
The king fainted....
Queen sold the donkey to a farmer
for 10$.

Next day paper read:
"QUEEN SELLS HER ASS FOR $10"
The queen fainted...

The next day king ordered the queen
to buy back the donkey and leave it
in jungle.

The Next Headlines:
"QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS
FREE & WILD"
The king died... !

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling

Back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,

"Can I help you Sir?"

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging Out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without Missing a beat, blurts out....

"Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!!"